New moms have plenty of resources at their disposal. There are many resources available to new moms, including best-selling parenting books and well-meaning friends and family, as well as advice from strangers and street people. It can be difficult to sort through all the information available. How do you decide which advice to follow and which to ignore?
Do Less
“Most mamas today think they should be doing too much for their children. But what babies really need is a present, self-aware mama who’s gentle with herself and grounded,” Dr. Colleen Crowley (M.A., LMFT), a mother, psychologist and co-founder at Brushies. She adds that a grounded presence is essential for wiring a baby’s brain for life.
- Babies need a loving, present mama who is self-aware and gentle.
- Sometimes it’s just a phase
This is real. Repeat it over and again. They won’t go back to college with a soother. They won’t wake up more than three times per night. They will be able to eat with a knife and fork. Take it as it is, and don’t rush your children through any stage or age; you’ll regret it later,” Jen Kelly and Becca Perren advise.
Consider your body as your new superpower
Katrina Scott, a first-time mother and co-founder at Tone It Up, tells MyDomaine that there is so much pressure to “bounce back” post-baby. “Our bodies have changed a lot since pre-baby. They shouldn’t. She says they are stronger. I want all moms to know that you are a superhero. Your body is a miracle. Let’s show more compassion, love, patience and love to each other.
- Our bodies are different than they were before we had babies.
- Avoid small things
Jen Auerbach, co-founder of Clary Collection, says, “If your child falls down for the first time, it’s likely that you don’t need to go to the emergency room.”
Try disconnecting nursing from sleeping
Dr. Hilary Fritsch DMD, a mother, dentist and co-founder at Brushies, says that this will make it easier for babies to go to sleep without milk. She notes that her favorite routine is bath, cuddles, milk, book and brush.
Look at the bigger picture
Crowley says that most of the worries parents have about their children (whether they are in infancy, adolescence or adulthood) is due to their insecurities. Crowley continues, “When we are aware of our fears and how frequently we impose them upon our children it allows for us to be separate and see and appreciate their individuality and take pleasure in the process.” We need to believe that the little person is developing exactly as we expect, not according to a schedule we set for them.
Do not be afraid to ignore advice
Kelly and Perren say that everyone will offer advice to you, whether you ask for it or not, when you’re about to have a baby. It’s valuable to hear the perspectives and experiences of others. This can help you form your own opinions. But be aware that what works for one family may not work for you. Listen to your motherly instinct and let it kick-in, they advise.
